Monday, December 3, 2012

A big decision

I'm pregnant!  But...it's not ours!  This is a good thing!  Haha....let me explain.

Our family is pretty perfect in a bunch of ways...and one of them is size.  Mike and I couldn't be happier or feel more blessed with our two little boys, and feel that the size of our family is perfect for us.  Despite this, when Mike had a certain medical procedure which made it impossible for us to add to our family biologically, I felt quite a bit of sadness.  Not because I wanted more kiddos....but because it meant that I would never again have the experience of pregnancy or birth.  It's not that either one was some majestically magical experience for me (along with the typical aches and pains of pregnancy I had 10 weeks of nausea with both kiddos, Finn unexpectantly came 3 weeks early, and Will had to be kicked out once he was a week late) but there was still something about it that I wished I could do again.

Combined with this feeling is the presence of a couple of amazing people in my life who have experience serious fertility issues and loss.  Something about the two of these things came together and clicked in my head....I could help another couple have a baby. Once the idea started to form in my head, it felt like it was absolutely the right and perfect thing.  I don't want any more kiddos, but I love the idea of helping to build a family for someone else.  So....after some long talks with Mike and with his complete support, I started the process of applying at an agency to be a gestational surrogate - this means carrying the baby, but in no way being genetically tied to the baby.

After going through a fairly intense process of applications, interviews, medical exams, a home visit, and psychological testing I was accepted into the program and quickly matched with a couple.  It felt right from the beginning, and it still feels perfect.  They are an amazing gay couple living in North Denver.  These guys have been together for 20 years and have gone through quite a journey to arrive at the place of having a baby.  I couldn't ask for a better match or relationship, and Mike and I both feel very lucky to be a part of this adventure with them.  Our kids are aware of the process and have met the guys.  Will knows there is a baby in my belly, and Finn understands why and how the process works.  In typical Finn fashion, he asks very thoughtful questions and follows up frequently with thoughtful comments.  I think it's really neat for our whole family to get this experience of helping someone else.

So where are we now?  I'm 14 weeks pregnant with a very healthy little baby, and couldn't be happier about helping two very amazing guys become two very amazing dads.

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